Devon Dyke

Maybe it’s time I stopped looking for myself in others.

I need some alone time to figure out what it is I want from myself, from my life… maybe I’ll actually take some steps towards graduating. Or towards sheding some light on the darkness that’s been keeping all my secrets from myself. Maybe I’ll finally look in that mirror and see myself. And maybe this time I won’t run away from me.

Maybe I will catch a glimpse of what could be my sense of purpose. Maybe I’ll even have the courage to pursue it. And maybe when I’m done inventing myself again, I will finally move from this dead spot I’ve been stuck in for the past few years. And then maybe… just maybe, when that new day comes, I’ll be ready… to be seen… to put my strengths and weaknesses out there, to be noticed and appreciated, because come end of day, all I am is imperfection, as unique and worthy as any other…

Everyone falls in love sometime
Sometimes it’s wrong, and sometimes it’s right
For every win, someone must fail
But there comes a point when
When we exhale…

Sometimes you’ll laugh
Sometimes you’ll cry
Life never tells us, the when’s or why’s
When you’ve got friends, to wish you well
You’ll find your point when
You will exhale…

Hearts are often broken
When there are words unspoken
In your soul there’s answers to your prayers
If you’re searching for a place you know
A familiar face, somewhere to go
You should look inside yourself
You’re halfway there…

Dviga se bela zastava, kriči
poraz in predajo nevidnih ljudi,
ki umirajo v želji doseči nebo,
a njih svet je mnogo premajhen za to,
v malih lupinah se skrivajo sanje,
velike kot njihova vera je vanje,
odpirajo se proti soncu zaman,
brezbrižno zavrženi, vrženi stran,
nevidna je njihova duša, dokler le
neslišno odmeva, a ko glasno zamre,
v bitki vnaprej izgubljeni krvava
se dviga v nebo zadnja bela zastava.

Now I could never change you
I dont wanna blame you
Baby you dont have to take the fall…

Yes I may have hurt you
But I did not desert you
Maybe I just wanna have it all…

It makes a sound like thunder
It makes me feel like rain
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep thinking somethings gonna change…

There’s a danger in loving somebody too much…

Precej na začetku najine veze sem ji rekla, da imam občutek, da bo ona ali najboljše ali pa najslabše, kar se mi je zgodilo v življenju. Zdaj, po koncu najine veze, se mi zdi, da je bila oboje. Ko zdaj od daleč spremljam njeno življenje,¹ se mi zdi, da doživlja podobne “travme” kot sem jih pred časom sama. In če se v mislih vrnem še malo nazaj, se mi zdi, da se ljudje v moji neposredni bližini vrtijo v podobnih krogih…

E. in B., jaz in E., T. in jaz in zdaj T. in… vse smo se v nekem trenutku znašle na obeh straneh prepada… je to res samo naključje ali plačujemo za stare grehe?! Ali to pomeni, da smo svoje grehe do tega trenutka “odplačale” ali je to zgolj prvi obrok?!

1. as a friend, not like I’m stalking her or something!!! [that's all!]

Sem pač malo “emotional” danes…

Ravno, ko sem se že skoraj prepričala, da nič več ne bo razprlo mojega oklepa…
Ravno, ko sem mislila, da je prav ta oklep vse, kar še drži skupaj moje zdrobljeno srce…
Ravno, ko sem se pripravljala, da razglasim T.O.D.¹, se je nekaj v meni premaknilo.

Počasi, nežno, plašno, tiho… in potem vedno hitreje, močneje, pogumneje in glasneje… it might be broken, battered and bruised even, but it’s not dead. I’m not dead.

Cast me gently into morning for the night has been unkind,
take me to a place so holy that I can wash this from my mind;
the memory of choosing not to fight…

1. Time Of Death [that's all!]

Once your wings have been broken, causing you to crash and burn, daring to fly again takes a lot more courage than it did before. Or just a lot more faith. So here we go… one, two, three…

I don’t want to be anything other than me… So there!

It’s a fine line, we all know that… but where is it exactly? How can you tell when you’ve crossed it?

The meaning to all words of love has disappeared…
We used to love one another, give to each other, lie under covers so, are you friend or foe?!

In a non-sexual way, that is!!! Packi!!!

Devon je pobegnila od monotonega vsakdana, ki ji ga sicer ponuja prestolnica naše lepe kokoškaste države in sedaj pridno srka različne¹ substance, namaka ritko v bazenu, pleše na terasi in poje karaoke. Nič ji ni hudega. Če vas je slučajno skrbelo.

Pa še malo fotomateriala za dokaz, da je tu na Krku vse pod kontrolo:

1. opojne [that's all!]